God has been changing my heart so much since I've been at camp and I wanted to share some of what He is doing.
"I love to dream. God has given me so many dreams throughout my life. I have had this dream for the last several years to go to other countries and love on, and potentially teach, underprivileged children. It’s one of those things I want so bad that it’s shaped many, if not all, of my decisions recently. If this option doesn’t get me there, I won’t take it.
In chapel the other day, the speaker spoke these words, “God wants to expand your dreams.” Then later that day there was this quote on Instagram, “He dreams bigger dreams for you than you do.” I was like Okay, God. What’s your point?
I realized that I’d become stuck on this one thing (going overseas), a good thing, but still a thing that was not God. I’d begun to want that more than I wanted to follow wherever God led. I’d stopped trusting that He had a plan for me and focused on the plan that I liked, the one that was good enough for me. But He’s God. He doesn’t stop at “good enough”."
I went on to talk about the reasons I wanted to go into missions and my discovering that God had fulfilled all of those desires through HeartSong. This summer has been so much more of the same. As we lead on stage and engage off stage I have found that my heart has been broken again and again for the brokenness I've seen here in the lives of these campers. My heart goes out to those who have not had the love and support they need to succeed in life and I've found that as that has happened I've been less inclined to go overseas. It is not that I no longer want to. I would still love to travel should that be in God's plan for me. But I'm so much more convinced that God can and will use me where ever I end up- even if that's America.
I love ministry. I love to love people and to encourage them. I want to be the one to help heal the brokenness. I want to give my life to help those who can not help themselves. And maybe that means overseas missions, but maybe that means my mission is here. And maybe here is where ever I am.
I'm so amazed to see how God has directed my life to be at this place now. In middle school I felt God leading me towards working with the homeless. Because of that I started working at the Center for the Homeless in South Bend. While there I worked with the children ages 3 mos. - 3 yrs in a program that helped to improve their development so they would not be behind when they get to school. Through working there I discovered my love for underprivileged children and a desire to help students like them succeed, which is how I ended up at Cedarville as an Early Childhood Education major. And now after changing my major to Christian Education (a general ministry major) and two years in the ministry of HeartSong, I find myself here; with a love for ministry and a desire to help people but no idea how God will use that in my future.
I have no doubt God will continue to lead me along this road with many twists and turns that I never would have foreseen. I trust that he will continue to draw me toward my final destination of being with Him and I am comfortable to sit back and enjoy the view along the way. His plan and purpose for my life is nothing I would have chosen for myself but I want it more than anything. Here's to many more years of following where the Spirit may lead.
