Memphis

Wow! I just got back from Memphis, where we went to a student life conference called Live Love. It was one of the greatest experiences of my entire life! The first night Francis Chan talked about our images of God. About how so many people say what they think God is, but it's just there opinion, Not truth! So he had us look in Revelations and explained what some of the confusing stuff meant. And he gave us this image in our heads of God in his throne in heaven surrounded by 4 magnificent beasts that would cause fear in the very core of our being and they're all giving glory to God! There's angels and other heavenly beings surrounding him as well also giving glory to God. Thunder and lightning are coming out from his throne...and he calls US his sons and daughters! What an amazing thing to KNOW! I have another picture of him that i got in my head the other day...it's one of a fatherly figure bending over me comforting me, loving me. The 2 pictures don't seem to fit together...But the amazing thing is THEY DO! It's the same person in both! It's such a weird thing for me to know that this God who is King of the world and has everything in his hands would step down off his throne...for ME! It doesn't seem like it makes any sense!! It's mind-boggling...but it's true! The worship there was absolutely amazing too! Kristian Stanfill was a GREAT worship leader! There was one song that was particularly touching and it's chorus was "There is none so high and holy, King of Kings the one and only! you are adored! you are the Lord of all!!!!!" and it's sooo true! But it's so hard for us to grasp is just how high and holy he is! Crazy to think about! I'm just so amazed that God loves me enough to die for me!!!!
Another thing Francis Chan talked about was a quote from a guy speaking at a funeral, he said, "You never know when God's Goin to take your life. And at that moment there's nothing you can do about it! ARE YOU READY?!" and the guy went back to his seat and turned to his wife and said his chest hurt and fell over and died from a heart-attack!!!! That's such a great example of his statement! And it's something I've always kept in my head, not that story but the idea that at any moment any one of us could die. That's one of the reasons i try not to get mad at people and i work really really hard on not saying mean things to people or if i do slip i go and apologize immediately because i would hate for something cruel to be the last word that ever comes out of my mouth or the last thing people remember of me. I realized that God has given all of us this incredible love and it's our job to spread it to ppl around us who don't have it or don't realize they have it yet! WE MUST LOVE IN EVERYTHING WE DO! And that will be my goal from now on to forever! LOVE!

So....

Hey guys! it's been a while! Gosh a lots been goin on lately. A couple weeks ago, i was somewhat depressed because in order to put God first in my life i had to...ummm...kick a friend out of my heart. I had realized that with this friend so close to my mind at all times i wasn't making time for God, I was concentrating fully on this friend...Let's call this friend Charlie...So i realized that Charlie was getting in the way of my relationship with God and i needed to reprioritize my life. So that's what i've been working on lately. I had to tell Charlie that i needed to prioritize, and i know that hurt him, which was painful to see. However, Charlie, being the great guy that he is said that i was doing the right thing, which i knew, and that if he was getting in the way of God that this is what i needed to do. That was a difficult thing for me to do. Put God first. And it shouldn't have been, I'd just gotten so used to having God in the background...there when i wanted him to be, but otherwise pushed aside until it was convenient. It's a somewhat depressing thing for me to realize, and honestly it's been a month and i'm still working on putting him first. I'm still trying to love God with ALLL my heart not just what's left over. I'm still trying to deal with emotions that i don't want to feel. But in it all i believe i have come closer to God, I have realized that he's not going anywhere, i have figured out that if he is not first in my life, everything else crashes down around me. There's no security, no reliability, no unconditional love, no feeling that i'll never be left alone. It's a hard thing to pick out in yourself. to realize the "little flaws" that you see are actually huge when their pointed out. But it's one of those things we have to do, cuz in my case, no one else would have realized that, no one else can see my heart or know what order my priorities lie in. That's for me to figure out, and i'm glad that i did, because although it hasn't been easy, i have the security and comfort in the fact that GOD will NEVER leave me.

Well, there you go. I'm thinking there were a few people out there that needed to know what was up, so now you know. Pray for me, i still need a lot of help getting back on my feet and in a direction that will keep me safe and secure in God's arms and in my relationship with him :) i love you guys!

Sooo Good!

Hey guys, this is the guitar i'm gonna get! I'm in love with it! lol.

I've been somewhat confused lately. I want to do what God wants me to do, but i'm so worried that i just think i'm doing what he wants me to and in actuality i'm doing the complete opposite. And i REALLY want to be a musician when i grow up...i'd love to hear ppl call me "Singer/songwriter Megan Stevens" but that's not why. I just love music! i feel like God has given me natural talents at singing, guitar, and writing songs. But what if i really am being called towards somehing else and i just don't want to hear it. I'd love my songs to help people... and be something they can relate to and use to help get through issues that i have gone through. My songs ARE from real emotions and real situations i've gone through...if i looked back on them in a few years it'd be like a map of my life of what i've gone through and had to deal with. But i want to help lead people to Christ, i love helping my friends through issues and honestly i have a lot of friends who come to me with there problems i think that i might prefer to be like worship leader of a youth group or a single church or community that way i could bond with the people there and still be there for people to lean on and come to for advice. One of the verses i've found really helpful for myself and friends i've given it out to is John 16:33b "In this world you will have trouble. But take heart for I have overcome the world." It's comforting for me to know that we are all going to have issues and go through hard times but we don't have to worry about that because out father has already conquered the world and will carry us through our hard times another verse that has really helped me lately is Hebrews 13:5 "Because God has said, 'Never will i leave you; Never will i forsake you.'" Soo comforting to know that we're never alone. If every one of our friends and family turned against us, he would still be here holding us close and telling us that everything would be alright. How amazing to be the recipient of that love...THAT is a great feeling. Praise God!

song 3

Kick, punch, break me down
Seems to be everyone’s goal
It’s working more and more each day
How will I survive?

In a world full of people
I feel all alone
No one to turn to, run,
Jump in their arms
I look for a way out
But nothing comes
How will I keep going on?

A target’s painted on my head
And they will shoot
But I keep it going anyway
You’ll help me survive

In a world full of people
I feel all alone
No one to turn to, run,
Jump in their arms
I look for a way out
But nothing comes
How will I keep going on? (x2?)

In this world
We will have trouble and we will get depressed
But we’ll keep on going anyway
For you, my God,
Have overcome it all

In a world full of people
Who feel all alone
We can turn to, run,
Jump in your arms
Looking for a way out
And your face comes
You will keep us going on!

Merry Christmas

Ever wonder why Jesus died for you? I wonder often what he saw in me that was so redeeming that he would die on a cross to save me. Or maybe that was it. There was NOTHING redeeming in me. Nothing to save me from eternal damnation nothing to save me from myself. His love is so unconditional that it didn't matter how wretched i was or am to this day. He loves me enough to die a horrible death, so that i could spend eternity with him in heaven. It's such an amazing idea! I don't understand how anyone could do that! Why would God want to send his son for me? What pain would he and all the beings of heaven, go through seeing their prince, his only son, die. And with romans mocking him and asking why he couldn't just come down from the cross if he was so high and mighty. Therein lies the realization. He was dying so that they may live. that you may live. That I may live. He could have come off the cross at any time. He could have just killed those who chose to deny him. But he didn't. He continued loving them and us. Even those who were the cause of his death. Why? i don't know. His love is too strong and too great for me to comprehend. But i do know this: God loves all of us enough to send his only son to die for us. he doesn't want anyone to perish, but for all to live with him for eternity. And that is enough for me.
I love you guys!!! Merry Christmas!!!! :D

Drama:Faith

I hate drama! with a capital H-A-T-E!!!! but i think that sometimes it helps us grow. Like we don't realize it at the time but everytime we work through a difficult situation that seems nearly impossible we become stronger as a person. And we become better at problem-solving. I think, if the drama or whatever the problem is, gets solved and the people involved are still friends, that the people will become closer because of it.

It's kinda like our relationships with God. not the drama necessarily, but the questions. When we ask questions of God. We become closer to him because of them. I think that a lot of the time we feel like asking questions of God is wrong because he created the universe...who are we to question him? you know? But the truth is, if we keep them locked inside they're going to eat us from the inside out. We can't continue doubting God and wondering how things work and why things happen. It's better if we put our doubts and stuff out there. we can wrestle the issues with God and ourselves. Eventually, we will come to peace with whatever it may be and have stronger faith, and a better relationship with God because of it. I don't know what i'd do without God. But at this time in my life i'm feeling really distant from him. I know that's normal and i can deal with that. it just seems really inconvient with stuff that i'm dealing with right now. I know he's here though and i will continue to trust and live my life for him. I'd appreciate your prayers though. Thanks and i love you guys!!!!

so i'm a little late...but HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)
i'm thankful for oh so much!!! let me list it out...(i just made up that phrase, it doesn't make any sense at all but i don't care!!!!)

• Family
• Friends
• A house
• FOOD! :D
• Love
• Life
• Reese's (my fav)
• people i can lean on
• books (my connection to less complicated worlds)
• Computer
• Heat
• cars
• pencils!!!!
• technology
• Church
• YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PS these are not written in order of improtance...and that's not all i'm thankful for, just a few things, i didn't want to bore you!!! :)

Hope you had a happy thanksgiving!!!!! and stuffed your bellies full! ;D