So Sick

There's a song i've been singing a lot lately called So Sick and i really like it cuz it's got a catchy tune and the lyrics kind of fit with what i'v been feeling lately. Anyways i just thought i'd take a moment and get out what I'M sick of.

• I'm sick of being ignored
• I'm sick of feeling like i don't exist
• I'm sick of being second to everyone
• I'm sick of wondering whether my friends are still gonna be here tomorrow
• I'm sick of being expected to be perfect
• I'm sick of any minor mistake i make being turned into some huge crime
• I'm sick of bad relationships
• I'm sick of drama
• I'm sick of thinking everythings normal and then have it turn bad again
• I'm sick of arguing with the people i love
• I'm sick of people thinking that i'm always depressed
• I'm sick of being depressed
• I'm sick of being lied to
• I'm sick of GUYS!
• I'm sick of being sick of life!

Sorry...that's a long list! :) why is it that i hand over my life to God and once he fixes it, i somehow take it back thinking i can run it better than he can? Because time and time again it's obvious that i can't! I long so much to do what's right and let God direct me wherever he wants me to go but i never manage to do anything right. I just wish that God would tell me what he wants me to do. Or maybe he is and i'm just not listening. All i know is that i don't know. And i just gotta keep pushing through and eventually I'll see the light at the end of this tunnel and God standing there with arms wide open for me to run to him and embrace him and drown in his love. For now, I'm living for that day :)