Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Like There's No Tomorrow

I never believed my middle school teachers when they said that there would be people in our grade who died before they were out of highschool. Surely not true right? We still have our whole lives ahead of us....Such a typical mindset: We're invincible nothing can hurt us!!....Yeah, that's been proved wrong time and time again. We had our second Freshman death last night. His name was Nathan White, and he sat two rows in front of me in study hall. His family was in Florida for Spring Break and he was driving through an intersection when a semi hit him head-on. This boy will never get married, he'll never have kids, he'll never graduate, or be able to fulfill his dreams. And all the people he left behind are mourning his death. But what really bothered me today, was when people were unaffected by all of that. That someone died, and they didn't care, even if they didn't know him, it could have been any of us. I expressed my annoyance to one of my friends who was acting like that and his excuse? "when you go through so much pain you eventually stop feeling emotions." No you refuse to feel them, was my reply. and the final straw "it's easier to be indifferent than to deal with the pain" Yeah it is. Life sucks. I won't deny it. But you could at least pretend like you care. When you become indifferent you become like the Nazi's and all the people who let those Jews die and did nothing to stop it, nothing to help put an end to the ruining of so many lives. I'd rather feel all the pain in the world than be indifferent to the loss of a life. The goal of living is not just to survive...what's the point of that? the goal of living is to do it to the fullest! To experience miraculous things and enjoy this beautiful world God has put at our disposal and to change lives, help people, love eachother!...Yeah maybe indifference is easier but to live your life indifferent to pain is also living your life indifferent to joy, to love, to sorrow, but also to community. For what good is the sunrise if you don't first go through the dark. What good is the rainbow if you don't first press through the storm? Live life to it's fullest! Love everyone. Give from your heart. Take risks. Sing and dance like no one's around. Cuz in an instant the world could slip out from under you, and suddenly the chance will be gone.

"I want to live like there's no tomorrow
I wanna dance like no one's around
I wanna sing like nobody's listening
Before i lay my body down
I wanna give like I have plenty
I wanna love like I'm not afraid
I wanna be the man I was meant to be
I wanna be the way I was made"

Monday, March 1, 2010

Overwhelming Love

In the past year or so I've felt like God is so far away, like when I'd call he wouldn't hear. But as I think about it more I've realized that I don't feel like that anymore. I don't neccessarily feel like he's super close, (but then I'm not sure I know what that feels like) and I know with all my heart that he hears me when I call.
Recently I've been filled with this overwhelming love for everyone around me, so much so that it's impossible to keep it in! and I think this is God's way of showing me that he is near, by giving me a taste of that unconditional love, and I'm not going to lie, IT FEELS SO GOOD!!!!! The other day on the bus, I wasn't having the greatest days and one of my best friends, I consider him a brother, could tell and the entire ride he worked to improve my day so i wouldn't go home upset. How great a friend is that?! And the entire ride I'm thinking how lucky I am to have friends who care that much and I was filled with this incredible amount of Godly love for this kid, almost too much to hold in! It most definitely overpowered whatever it was that made my day bad (i don't even remember what it was :)). Then last weekend I was serving in the penguin room (which i do twice a month) and again I was hit by how much i love these kids!!! I put it on facebook and i'll say it again I belong more with those kids than with kids my age!!! It's absolutely incredible to me that they can be so un-judgemental (is that a word???) it's refreshing.I love those kids...and I love my God!!! I don't deserve anything he's given me and yet I got it. I don't understand!!!!! haha, good thing i'm not God! :)

I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Give thanks to the God of gods, his love endures forever" ~Psalm 136:2