This semester has opened my eyes in a completely new and beautiful way to the nearness of Christ. So many nights I've talked with my roommate about things we've struggled with and ways that we want to be better and that by itself is a beautiful thing. But almost every time we've shared things with each other, we hear about that exact thing in chapel the next day or in classes or a church service. It's to the point that I anticipate it. I leave those conversations wondering what God is going to do with it in chapel the next day. It's like He's just sitting in our dorm room listening as we share our hearts, loving the community and grinning, "Just wait, child. I've got something coming for you tomorrow.”
I don't have adjectives enough to describe that feeling; To know that God, the only God, the one who created all and holds all in his perfect hands, He loves to sit with us. He loves to point our dialogue in the right direction. He honors the effort to live in community, in a way that is pleasing to Him. He draws near to us as we draw near to Him. There's nothing like it.
I had to have a tough conversation yesterday and nothing in me was excited, although I knew it was necessary. As it began I sent a silly, simple little prayer to God. “I just don’t want to cry.” It was so insignificant in light of everything that was about to take place. But He answered it. And His answer was yes. “I hear you, my love, and I’m going to take care of the big things. But I’ll take care of this little request too, because you matter to me, because you are my treasured one.” In the moments after that conversation ended, alongside the relief that came with being done, was this overwhelming sense of just being cherished. I felt like God was wrapping me in a hug in that moment.
There is no reason that He should love me. All the mistakes, all the times I’ve pushed him away and tried to run, all the times I chose my pride and my protection over Him, yet He chooses to love me. He chooses to give me grace enough to show me my short comings and gives me the strength to overcome them. He gives me peace unlike anything the world could hope to produce even when my life is storming. He is all that I could ever need and so much more.
I’m in awe of who He is. I’m in awe of what He’s done and the love that He continually lavishes over me. I’m in awe of the grace he extends no matter how many times I fall. I’m in awe of the people He’s put in my life to teach me more about who He is. There's is no one like Him. What a joy it is to know and be loved by so great a King.
"Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good!
Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him!
Oh, fear the Lord, you his saints,
for those who fear him have no lack!
The young lions suffer want and hunger;
but those who seek the Lord lack no good thing